Thursday, December 15, 2011

Disney's Animal Kingdom

Tues. Dec. 13
Today is the first visit to DAK. It’s a gorgeous day today weatherwise. I get to the park about 11 a.m., and the park looks to be pretty busy. I’m parked in the “Dinosaur” lot, which is the second lot out from the entrance. I tram in, get through the entrance, and head to “Expedition to Everest” which is the signature ride in the park, only to find it closed due to repairs. It never re-opens the entire day, and there is a lot of disappointment in the park. So I go for the Kali River Rapids instead, donning my poncho. I draw the unlucky straw, and am seated on the leading edge of the raft as it goes over the falls. The poncho protects me somewhat, but the entire seat of my pants gets soaked as the tsunami of water spills over my head. It is great fun.
I stop at the “Yak and Yetti” café and get a not-too-terrible cup of coffee for $2.99 to go with the half of an energy bar that I brought along. I find a secluded table around the corner from the main seating, and enjoy my coffee/energy bar, and finish the sample of Stephen King's “11/23/63” that I have downloaded onto my phone. I think I’m hooked on the story!
After that, I roam the park for a while, then get a “Fast Pass” for the safari ride. I bide my time by taking a walk through the African jungle, stopping to admire the gorillas. After that, I sit for a while on what I can only describe as the most uncomfortable benches I have ever sat on at the entrance to the safari ride. Dawn, I will have to point these out to you. These are designed to cause pain and urge the visitor to move on quickly.
The safari ride is very much fun, and the highlight was that we got within 30 feet of a couple of white rhinos, which are magnificent creatures. After the ride, I head over to a food stand and get a kid’s meal consisting of two oven baked chicken drumsticks (actual legs from a chicken … not strips or nuggets or other chopped/pressed/formed chicken byproduct), a sealed portion bag of grapes which have managed to go soft during their handling/processing/packaging, a sealed bag containing a chocolate chip cookie, and a carton of milk, all for the bargain price of $6. Which is cheap by Disney standards as far a “meal” is concerned. It fills the hole, and the chicken is actually pretty good, but I wonder if the kiddies think it tastes “strange” because it’s not formed into pellets, coated with breading, nor does it come with any sweet, corn-syrup-laden dipping sauce.
I take another stroll through the serpentine, maze-like walkways of the park, exploring little nooks and crannies. But then, since the rollercoaster ride is a lost cause, I decide to exit the park before its 5 p.m. closing and get back to the condo so I don’t have to fight the rush-hour traffic. I take about an hour nap, then head over to the Orlando Premium Outlet Mall on International Drive, one of about a dozen such malls in Orlando, with many of the largest ones along the infamous I Drive. I need a new pair of slacks at Eddie Bauer because the jeans I have brought along have become too big. I navigate to the mall and secure a parking place, and head to the EB store, where I find a nice pair of pants, not jeans (because they are out of my “new” size, which is a 40 inch waist with a 30 inch inseam) but nice casual slacks nonetheless. I also buy a belt. Together, they come to $60, but I am able to arbitrage a $5 reward check with a Tuesday 10 percent “senior discount” at the mall, so my stuff ends up costing $49 plus tax.
I also find a “Toll House” outlet at the mall, which sells cookies, and I buy a pack of day-old assorted cookies for $3.99, normally $8. I look around the rest of the mall, but nothing strikes my fancy. There are a TON of apparel stores. Out of 100 stores, 83 are listed as apparel stores, with most of those being exclusively for women. Does anyone else but me see anything inherently absurd with that picture? Anyway, I head back to the condo and prepare a 5 ounce turkey patty and hash browns for my supper, along with a couple of cookies for dessert. I watch the season finale of The Biggest Loser and see “John” win a quarter million dollars. He wasn’t my favorite contestant, but the guy sure had determination, and lost 225 pounds, which is amazing. Jennifer won the at-home prize of $100K. One chick, Debbie, squandered her opportunity on BL and lost a measly 30 pounds. Granted, she was sent home I believe week one, but still a pitiful effort, knowing she had a chance at $100K and a chance at a slot in the finals by winning the marathon. Just shows that if you aren’t ready, it’s not going to happen. Been there many times myself. Oh, well, it was certainly another interesting season, and provided me much entertainment and some inspiration as well.
Expenses: food at the park, $9; clothes $50; cookies $4. Total: $63.
Bruce

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