Journey to Narnia

Hey, all. Beautiful weather here after another hot spell. I'm sitting out on the lanai, and it's 67 degrees with a nice breeze blowing through the condo.  An Omaha Steaks chuck roast is in the oven with potatoes, carrots, and onions and is starting to smell mighty good. (Sister) Dawn and I are glad we're not up in the Northeast contending with winter storm Stella. STELLA! STELLLAAA! We also note the folks back home in Wisconsin had about a 5-6 incher earlier this week. March can be a real bitch up in Cheeseland.

OK, today for the first time in my life, I went to a Costco. Just to gaze, gawk, to look with wonder upon the 30-roll cases of Kirkland toilet paper, the 5-pound jars of pickles, and the 3-pound pans of heat-and-eat lasagna. And, yes, a "Breitling Chronomat 44" automatic chronograph watch for $5,800 (retail $8,670).

To be clear, I'm not a Costco member. Just contemplating at this point, with a little help and advice from (niece) Kris.

I wasn't totally unprepared for what I would see, having toured a Sam's Club in Janesville a few years back with (friend) Amy. But this Costco made Sam's look like a Seven-Eleven by comparison. I thought for a moment I had slipped into Narnia, the fantasy world created by C.S. Lewis of "Alice in Wonderland" fame. First of all, the place was jammed with people shuttling around jumbo shopping carts and even those wheeled platform trucks like you see at Lowes and Home Depot. One of the first thing I passed was a rack of brochures offering Costco-branded services:

• Travel packages. How about a 15-day "Best of Italy and Sicily" tour for $3,285 per person, based on double occupancy. 
• Home and auto insurance.
• Dental and vision plan.
• Home mortgages.

Next, there was a cafeteria (not just a snack bar) where singles, couples, and even whole families were having lunch or sipping coffee. Many with no shopping carts (that I could see), just folks eating and drinking as though it were an outing to Applebees or Denny's.

This is before I even got to the grocery and general merchandise aisles. I'm only thinking of joining Costco to save some bucks on staple items, like laundry, paper, trash bags, coffee, and a few other things. But, holy cow, if you really want to get into this (and many people obviously do), then Costco can become a lifestyle! Seriously, the only thing missing is prepaid funeral services, and I wouldn't doubt that the company is considering this also.

So anyway, the annual membership fee is $55. I snapped a few photos of products I use and will compare them to Walmart, Aldi (in Janesville) and so forth. And by the way, the Breitling chronograph is no bargain at $5,800. You can buy the same watch online from any of a dozen sources for around $4,000!

Dishwasher tablets (just as cheap as Walmart, by the way)

As an alternative, (niece) Kris has offered to purchase for me a "Costco Cash Card" (fancy name for a gift card) which a nonmember (me) can use to get into the store (they check for membership cards at the entrance) and buy stuff.

Oh, one last thing. This particular Costco had a rack full of discounted gift cards to other retail and food establishments. You could, for example, buy two $50 gift certificates to Flemings Steakhouse or Buco de Beppo and other sub establishments, and pay $80. Wow!

The other interesting thing I did this past week was take a bus trip to the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida. There is a tour company in town (AllStar Charters) that for $35 will provide bus transportation to and from the casino, and you get $20 of that back in "free play" for slot machines on a player's card, which you obtain at the casino. After playing one slot machine and a few hands of $10 blackjack, I was $11 ahead, so I quit gambling and spent the remaining five hours touring the hotel and casino, which included checking out all the cool rock-n-roll memorabilia on display. Some really neat stuff, from the early days of Bill Haley and Chuck Berry, right up to Jennifer Lopez and Adele. Also had two great meals (breakfast and lunch) at the Blue Plate, one of the casino's multiple eateries. Also passed some time at the hotel's coffee bar called the Constant Grind, much like a Starbucks. Free wi-fi, also. All in all, an enjoyable day, and a fun diversion. Left Fort Myers 7 a.m., got back at 6:15 p.m. It's not the "Big M" cruise casino of years past (which I really miss, by the way), but it's a decent substitute and satisfies the occasional gambling urge.

Bye for now.

Bruce

Strawberry Fields Forever

It's Sunday, March 5, an uncommonly cooler, drier day here in SW Florida, with a delicious breeze blowing through the condo. It's been terribly hot/humid here these past few weeks, even prompting me to think of relocating farther north in Florida for upcoming winters.  I've sent (sister) Dawn out on groceries, and I'm sitting here on the lanai with (cat) Abby occupying the chair next to me.

Before getting into the nitty-gritty of this blog entry, I must say a few words about the Oscar telecast of Feb. 26, since that is where I left off on the last blog entry. Dawn and I watched the show to the end, and stared at each other in abject disbelief as pandemonium reigned on stage over the miscall on "Best Picture." We were actually rooting for "La La Land" but when all the dust settled, I wasn't surprised that the Motion Picture Academy voted for "Moonlight" given its partiality to noir cinema. In any event, this goes down as the biggest live TV blunder of all time, and will be replayed on "Oscar gag reels" all over the world for the next 50 years! Steve Harvey, you can relax now. Your Miss Universe blunder of 2015 has now been surpassed, and you can pass the baton to the accounting firm of Price Waterhouse!

OK, I guess the "big event" since my last posting of Feb. 26, was my day-trip to Plant City, Fla., to attend the 87th annual "Florida Strawberry Festival." I went with Trendy Tours, the same tour company that took me to the Flagler Museum/Breakers Hotel a couple of weeks ago. They did a very fine job, and I spent an enjoyable day experiencing all things strawberry.

Our tour began with a stop at Parksdale Farm Market, just outside Plant City, supplier of most of the strawberries for the Festival. They claim to be the largest privately owned growers of strawberries/produce in the United States. Combined, all growers of strawberries in Hillsborough County (where Plant City is located) have 10,000 acres under till. Parksdale Farm Market alone harvests about three million pounds of strawberries annually, according to their website. They also grow/sell citrus and various other produce, but strawberries are their main claim to fame. They sell both retail at their outdoor produce store (6,000 square feet, including a tropical garden seating area) and wholesale to grocers and produce market vendors throughout Florida. There, I bought a "half flat" of fresh berries, consisting of about 5.5 pounds' worth. These were stowed under the bus in the luggage area to avoid possible messes in the main cabin.

After that, we drove into the parking grounds of the Festival, just down the road from Parksdale. It very much reminded me of the Wis. State Fair in West Allis (Milwaukee). Most of the strawberry-themed food items were housed in two large pavilion buildings in the center of the park. A carnival/midway was stationed at one end, with rides and games. At the other end were animal and agricultural exhibits. In addition to all the strawberry-themed foods, there were food vendors of all sorts scattered throughout the grounds offering the usual carnival fare -- funnel cakes, turkey legs, corn dogs, and just about anything deep fried that can be imagined.

One key difference between the Strawberry Festival and Wisc. State Fair: No beer or any alcoholic beverage of any kind is served (or allowed to be carried in) anywhere on the fairgrounds.

In the strawberry-themed department, I had chocolate covered strawberries (2); strawberry shortcake, strawberry pie, strawberry peanut brittle, and a strawberry crepe. There were numerous other strawberry items, including cheesecake, pizza, deep fried (injected with cream cheese) and cobbler. My vote for "most gross" item was the strawberry hamburger: A hamburger patty fried on a griddle, topped with crumbles of strawberry cookies, sandwiched between two pieces of French toast, topped with sweet strawberries. I passed on that one.

Strawberry exhibit by Parksdale Farm

The strawberry shortcake stand, run by St. Clement Catholic Church, was best, and the most fun. You made it yourself by going through a buffet line of sweetened strawberries and "whip cream" after receiving a naked baking powder biscuit or yellow sponge cake (your choice) in a Styrofoam bowl. I put whip cream in quotations, because every vendor at the fair used a nondairy whipped topping similar to Cool Whip, which of course is sacrilege to us folk from Wisconsin.  So I toughed it out with the whipped topping, using it as sparingly as possible.

I did have one protein item during the day ... an Italian sausage on a bun with onions and sweet peppers. Yum.

The tour included concert tickets to the park's sound stage, and that day's entertainment was a trio of R&B/rock-n-roll bands that included the Coasters, the Platters, and the Drifters. Our tour group had reserved seats, but there were also free seats to anyone who wanted to sit in the bleachers. The concert was one hour long, with each group doing a 20-minute set. All used the same backup band, so there was virtually no down time between sets. I'm guessing the three bands are a "package deal" when being booked for such events, which is kind of a neat idea, I think. Each group performed some of their original hits, along with newer material. The Drifters, in fact, are still recording, even though the original members are of course retired or dead. The new members, however, try to stay as original to the sound as possible. The Coasters performed their most memorable hits, "Charlie Brown," and "Yakety Yak." Platters: "Only You," "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes." Drifters: "Up on the Roof," "Under the Boardwalk."

Soundstage at the Strawberry Festival

The concert went until 4:45, at which time our group had to haul ass back to the bus, which was scheduled to leave at 5 p.m. Our tour leader held the bus for an extra 15 minutes to allow for slow arrivals, as we had many individuals with joint replacements, canes, etc.

A few words about the festival, which I learned from the Internet. It relies almost entirely on volunteers (1,200 of them) to run the event. All proceeds from the fair are donated to the migrant workers and their families who make the strawberry and produce industry in Florida possible. (Kind of ironic if you think about it; why not just pay them a higher wage to begin with?) The fair's PR department boast that the Strawberry Festival is ranked among the 40 top fairs/festivals in the United States. But by whom, I asked. And nobody knew. So I looked it up. It was ranked 35th among 50 fairs/festivals in 2011 by "Venues Today," an industry magazine covering the sports and entertainment industries. It has not been ranked since that I can find. Hello, is the strawberry spin doctor in? Apparently so!

Still, a very fun event, and a very fun day. I left with a belly full of strawberries, and a moderate sunburn from being at the outdoor concert. Slept like a baby when I got back to Ft. Myers around 8:30 p.m. Nothing like a day of fresh air.

That's all for now.


Bruce