Billy, I Love Ya, But ...

To quote comedian Dennis Miller, "I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ... "

... has anyone noticed the prices recently of going to see live theater events? I was thinking the other day a nice Christmas gift for (sister) Dawn -- and myself -- would be tickets to see something live at the Barbara B. Mann, our local performing arts center. The Book of Mormon is playing there Jan. 24-29, and Billy Crystal performs for one night on January 30. I went to BB Mann website, thinking I would find some nice tickets for around $100 a person.

Anyone want to guess what floor (orchestra) seats cost for either event? Anyone? Bueller?

How about $265 per ticket? That's right. Over $500 for the two of us to see either Mormon or Crystal. For $100 apiece, I couldn't even get a pair of nosebleeds up on the balcony.

Sheesh. I mean I not one of those old codgers who sits around mourning the loss of nickel candy bars or one dollar haircuts. I realize the cost of living has gone up. But there's fair, and then there's outrageous. Five or even $10 for a hamburger is fair, if it's a good burger. I've paid that much and felt I got a fair value. Twenty dollars for a burger, however, is outrageous. Fifteen or $20 for a haircut nowadays is fair, But somewhere around $40, I would draw the ine and say it's outrageous, especially given my ever shrinking number of hairs to cut.

So nearly $600 for two seats to see a play or a comedian? 'Cause that's what it would be by the time they added sales tax and various "convenience fees." (Don't you just love that little euphamism?) Granted, both would certainly be good. But c'mon. And in Fort Myers, Fla., no less?

Outrageous.

Well, I guess it's what the market will bear. But it saddens me that performers and event organizers have turned live entertainment into a diversion for the rich. And goodness knows we have our share of rich folks down here for whom $500 or $600 is a pittance. But for us folks of modest means who love the performing arts, we'll have to settle for dinner theater and watching our great performers on TV. Guess we'll be going to the Laugh In Comedy Cafe, our local comedy club, for $15 apiece. And "Phantom" will be playing at the Broadway Palms Dinner Theater for $60 apiece which includes dinner. Certainly less thrilling, but at least I can sleep at night knowing I didn't spend a month's rent on an evening out.

Well, enough of that. Here it is, week four in Florida already. A month. Sounds like a long time, but it passes in a blink, doesn't it?

Nov. 25-27

The three days following Thanksgiving were restful, especially for Dawn who was off work and had an opportunity to rest and recoup. On Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, Dawn and I ventured across the bridge into Cape Coral to try out a brew pub and grill called "Big Blue Brewing" which also features a full service menu. The place is run by the same folks who own the Cape Coral rum distillery where "Wicked Dolphin Rum" is made, and one of the principals is the husband of my former landlord (and current friend) Heather Mangan. We went during Happy Hour (3 to 6 p.m.) to take advantage of the $5 happy hour appetizers and reduced prices on drinks. I ordered a "flight" of four beer samples, settling on an orange wheat beer, and Dawn had a strawberry daiquiri. For apps, we ordered a grilled bacon/cheese sandwich with tomato bisque, cheese sticks with marinara, and mild chicken wings. Everything was delicious, and our server, Thomas, was very nice. We brought the cribbage board and played two games, winning one apiece. It was a very pleasant afternoon. We finished the "rubber" game back at the condo, and Dawn won the series, one of the few times she's beaten her older brother which gave her a good feeling of learning the finer points of the game.

On Saturday, I aggravated my left knee pretty badly by biking to Fort Myers Beach and back. I have a condition known as "patellofemoral pain syndrome" which is a fairly common knee disorder among athletes (not me) and overweight people (me). It comes and goes, and my primary doctor says there isn't a whole lot I can do about it other than to let it rest and -- guess what? -- lose weight. So I gave my knee a good icing on Saturday night. No bike riding for me for while, and when I resume, I will have to learn to "push off" with the right leg instead of the left, because that's where most of the stress comes. The terrain here is virtually flat, so once I get going, there isn't a whole lot of stress on the knees.

Monday Nov. 28.

Back to work for Dawn. I walked a lap around Lakes Park for exercise today, with no apparent further knee aggravation. Then a smoothie and coffee on the lanai. I went to the Market Square shopping center again to browse the shops and also try lunch at a place called "Crispers," a Florida chain with 24 locations throughout the state. They pretty much stole the playbook from "Panera Bread" right down to the "Pick Two" lunch where you choose two items from their soup/salad/sandwich menu. I had a deluxe "summer salad" of greens, smoked turkey breast, fruits, nuts, bleu cheese (good) and half a Reuben s sandwich (just OK) and an iced tea, all for $12. Don't think I need to go back, and I don't know if this place will make it over the long haul. There is just too much competition around here for sandwich/salad places. I also stopped at "Total Wine and Liquor" which is a wine/beer/liquor superstore and bought three mini bottles of Tolon-Tolon creme liquors imported from Spain. Tolon-Tolon is the Spanish equivalent of "ring ring" in English to describe the ringing sound that a bell makes. This is an example of an onomatopoeia, a word that phonetically imitates the sound that it describes. Examples would be buzz, boom, baaa, moo, etc. My 10th grade English teacher, Miss Dahl would be very proud of me for remembering this. Anyway, each bottle of Tolon-Tolon comes with a little bell fastened around its neck. I had no experience with the brand; I simply bought them because they were amusing. Similar in strength to Baileys Irish Cream. I've had the Macadamia Nut Cream so far (in coffee) and it was delicious!

For dinner, we declared a chef's night off (tired of turkey) and went to Pincher's Crab Shack on San Carlos with a 10% coupon we clipped from the Florida Weekly. I had stone crab, while Dawn had a shrimp platter. Everything was excellent.

Tuesday Nov. 29

Oatmeal for breakfast with pecans, dried cranberries, and maple syrup for sweetener, watermelon, and coffee. Workout today at Planet Fitness which thankfully did not aggravate my knee too much. Then to DJ Chinese on Cleveland for a plate lunch of chicken cashew, pork fried rice, eggroll, and hot tea. All delicious. Then to Chase Bank to deposit (sis in law) Julie's check that she sent me for the upcoming Jan. 13 cruise. I couldn't deposit the check on my mobile phone app because -- get this -- Julie's handwriting had extended into the MICR at the bottom of the check where the numbers identify Julie's bank code and account number. The mobile app was unable to decipher the numbers. So I had to deposit the check the old fashioned way by actually going to the bank. Been a while since I've done that. Just another one of those menial tasks rendered near obsolete by technology.

Wednesday Nov. 30

Farmers Market today across the street at Lakes Park. Rode the bike over there and had breakfast of a guava/cream cheese Danish, fresh cut fruit, and coffee. I was thinking of riding the bike further today, but it is too windy. The wind is a big deciding factor for me because it can make a huge difference between enjoying the ride and struggling with the ride. I am not aerodynamic; in fact I am the opposite of aerodynamic. Today, two watch cases arrived in the mail from a replating outfit in Montreal, Canada. I mailed these out just before leaving for Florida, and a month later I have them back. Cost me $115 Canadian which converts to about $86 U.S. Kind of expensive, but worth it especially on a nice watch. One of these is for a Gruen day/night watch; the other is for a 1920s Haste (pronounced HAS-tay) with awesome Art Deco design. The movements for both of these are back in Janesville, so these cases will go back with me there to be re-assembled and sold. Tonight for dinner, a barbecue sampler platter from Sonny's Barbecue. Big enough to share ... four meats (ribs, chicken, pork shoulder, beef brisket) a baked sweet potato, beans, and corn muffin.

Thursday Dec. 1

It's a brand new month, and also marks one month since (cat) Abby and I left on our road trip to Florida. (Sister) Dawn officially starts as a full-fledged city employee today and leaves the temp agency. Hooray! Raise in pay and city benefits, most of which will kick in after six months (notably health insurance and vacation/sick days). At 5 p.m., I met up with (former landlord and current friend) Heather Mangan at Blue Water Brewing in Cape Coral for beer, appetizers, and conversation. Dawn caught up with us about 5:30, driving direct from work. Always nice to catch up with Heather. She is just 32 years old, but a real go-getter and it does my heart good to see a young person with gumption and a healthy dose of self-reliance and zero sense of entitlement. Everything she has, she has earned. Anyway, she just got married last May to a fellow who is another energetic entrepreneur (he is currently master distiller at Cape Coral Distillery) and partner in this brewery and pub. Her married name is now "Termini" and she goes with a hyphenated last name, "Heather Mangan-Termini." Her hubby's name is Danny, and he has an identical twin brother, Joe, who is also a principal at the brewery, and the two are constantly mistaken for one another, which makes for fun and hi jinx at the brewery. Sounds like a pilot for a TV comedy, no?

Anyway, Heather quit her job at "Rich Dad Coaching" (Robert Kiyosaki) and got her real estate brokerage license and started her own brokerage firm, operating on a flat-fee basis ($2,500 to sell any home, regardless of price). We ordered beers and an assortment of appetizers, and even ordered burgers off the dinner menu. Everything was delicious, and Heather generously picked up the tab. We parted company about 7 p.m., crossed back over the Cape Coral bridge into Fort Myers. Cape Coral is certainly an interesting city with a character all its own ... quite apart from Fort Myers, even though the cities are practically within spitting distance of one another. But with virtually no beaches (save for one miniscuminuscule located within "Yacht Club Community Park") I'm happy to be on the other side of the bridge in Fort Myers.

Well, that's all for this installment. As I complete this on Dec. 5, I note the folks back in Wisconsin got a rude awakening yesterday overnight to today in the form of some wet heavy snow ... up to six inches in some areas. More rudeness is on the way later this week with temps in the teens and night time lows in the single digits. Buck up. Meanwhile, the first of the strawberry crop is coming in down here. Mmmm.

Bruce