Cape Coral is just one mile from the western edge of Fort Myers (FM) over the Calusahatchee River via a $2 toll bridge. But it might as well be 1,000 miles away, for the culture and vibe of Cape Coral is as different from FM as Oscar Madison is from Felix Unger. First, there are no beaches on Cape Coral because the entire peninsula is surrounded by mangrove. Cape Coralians must cross one of three bridges to FM and then drive to the beach or to Sanibel Island. Failing that, the nearest beach is 20 miles to the north, at Punta Gorda or Port Charlotte, and even then you’re on the Calusahatchee and not the ocean.
And then there are the canals. Canals everywhere. More total miles of canals than in the city of Venice, Italy, I’m told. Many leading to the Calusahatchee and out into the Gulf of Mexico. Many more dead-ending into various lakes for the more faint of heart mariner who just wants a place to fish. All canals leading into the more tony of Cape Coral’s neighborhoods. And speaking of neighborhoods, there are only a handful of gated communities in Cape Coral. They are everywhere in FM (including several mobile home parks), which the Cape Coralians claim is necessary to keep out all the criminals and drug dealers in FM. (There are plenty of criminals and drug dealers in Cape Coral, too, by the way, but I guess they are at least free to roam and drive the streets of the better neighborhoods.)
Then there is this negative vibe between the residents of the two cities, each thinking their city is “better” than the other. “You couldn’t pay me to live in (fill in FM or Cape Coral)” is a phrase often heard. “Too much crime/drugs/ghetto.” (Take your pick). “Too few good restaurants/specialty markets.” And on and on. I myself am glad I picked Fort Myers. Simple reason: The beaches. If I want the occasional fresh seafood, or good Italian sausage, I can easily drive over the bridge (where the selection is better, I have to admit) and back. Give me Fort Myer’s Beach, Sanibel Island, Manatee Park, Lakes Park (including the Friday farmer’s markets), McGregor Blvd. with its Royal Palm tress, the Fleamasters Flea Market, and the city has some damn fine restaurants of its own. So there you go … my take on the whole FM/Cape Coral feud. So strange. Two cities so close, but so completely different.
Well, it’s Tuesday (April 7) so it must be Big M gambling cruise day, and sure enough here I am on the top deck. It promises to be a loud, raucous today as we had a tour bus pull in with 36 souls aboard who all look like slots players to me, so I’m certain a fair number of them are about to be separated from their cash. In addition, I see usual assortment of singles and couples, some of whom I am beginning to recognize as regulars.
Here are some highlights from the previous week.
Wednesday April 1. I attended the last session of my four-session “Intuition” workshop with instructor Roseanne Vrugtman through the Renaissance Academy. This final session focused on honing your intuition through various exercises designed to get you in the “zone,” including meditation, listening to peaceful music, reading “signs” people such as body language, and so forth. I gave the instructor five stars (best rating) across the board on our feedback sheets. We also did a group exercise where we sat around in a circle (there were only three of us). One lady focused her thoughts on some person, and told us only whether that person was male or female, and dead or alive. In this instance, the person this lady was thinking of was female and deceased. The lady then focused their thoughts about the person, visualized them, etc., while the other two of us tried to “hone in” on their thoughts and write down anything that came to mind. The lights in the room were dimmed, and Roseanne put on some soft classical music. After five minutes, the person who did the thinking announced who it was they were thinking about and why. Then the other two of us took turns telling what we had written down. All three of my statements I had written down were pretty general, but they were all correct. She was thinking of a deceased sister-in-law who had died early in life as a result of cancer. I had written down that the person she was thinking of was a family member or loved one as opposed to someone famous. That the person brought joy to her life as opposed to someone who hurt her in some way. And I wrote that this person was opposite to her in many ways, and together they complimented one another which is why they had so much fun together. All three were correct. So that was kind of fun without being too far “out there”, Ouija board kind of stuff. So I’m giving up the watch business, and booked myself aboard a Royal Caribbean cruise next winter as “The Amazing Bruce.” Come see the show. The other lady who was writing stuff down had many more statements, some of them much more specific, and I think all but one of her statements was correct.
Friday April 3. Rode my bike to the Lakes Park farmer’s market and had a delicious breakfast of a bagel/egg/sausage sandwich from the lovely Bagel Lady, a pint of just-picked strawberries, and coffee. About six members of the “Peckerheads” bicycle club showed up and joined me, and a lively discussion ensued. I will miss those guys and hope to hook up with again next fall. I drove out to Fleamasters flea market about 12:30, and had lunch at one of the concessionaires in the food court, and stopped to talk with my buddy “Chris the Book Guy” and showed him the copy of “Sanibel Flats” that I had autographed by Randy Wayne White a couple of weeks ago. I then stopped at Sunshine Harvest Citrus Co., for some of their mutant sized ruby red grapefruit … last of the season I’m afraid. When I got back to the apartment, I telephoned Comcast, my cable/Internet provider, to request they put me in “vacation mode” at the end of the month until November when I return. That will cost me $12 per month. So begins closing up shop for the season.
Saturday April 4. Contacted (former CUNA boss) Gene Johnson and his wife, Pegg, to set up a visit. Turns out they have been spending the last couple of months in St. Pete, and are set to head back to Eagle Harbor, Michigan (upper peninsula) April 15. Wish I had known about this on my trip to St. Pete last month, but I still want to see them, and thus I am returning to St. Pete on April 12 (Sunday) to spend an overnight at their beach motel (a smaller mom-and-pop establishment), swim in their pool, go for a beach walk, and out to dinner. Monday the 13th, I hope to hook up with my watch dealer acquaintance and further discuss the possibility of a book collaboration. So I will be looking forward to this. Abby should not need any attention, since I’ll only be gone for a couple of days, but I am giving the apartment keys to the neighbors just in case.
Easter Sunday April 5. Today, I am invited over to friend Nora’s house at 3 p.m. for Easter dinner with about 10 of her friends, which turned out to be 18 friends. Nora had to come get me at the locked gate and guide me in the last mile or so to her house. In front of her house there was a large turtle, about the size of dinner platter, wandering in the middle of road that we both pulled over in our vehicles to avoid. I got out of my vehicle, and picked the damn thing up and set it on the grass because I didn’t think it would make it over the curb, and I didn’t want it to get squished. Nora didn’t want to touch it, thinking it might be a snapper turtle, but it looked pretty harmless to me and tucked its head inside its shell when I approached, so I felt pretty safe. Up and over the curb no problem, and I was a hero to Nora for a brief moment.
I also got to meet one of Nora’s daughters, Ellie (or something like that) who left about 15 minutes after I arrived because she is dieting (lost 35 pounds so far) and didn’t want to be tempted by all the food and drink. And food and drink there was, in seemingly endless variety and quantity. During the snack course, there were goodies including cheese and sausage, crackers, dips, deviled eggs, BBQ meatballs, nuts, and on and on. Guests were asked to bring their own beer (if they wanted any). Everything else, including wine, hard liquor, and soft drinks, was provided. I brought a six pack of Yuengling, which was my preferred beverage. At about 5:30, Nora pulled a giant glazed ham out of the oven, and the main course began, including cheesy potato casserole, a pineapple bread pudding (a surprisingly nice compliment to the salty ham), green bean casserole, a cheesy broccoli rice casserole, and rolls. After that, a round of after-dinner Fireballs, a cinnamon infused whiskey liqueur that reminded me of those “Atomic Fireball” jaw breakers I used to suck on as a kid. Before we downed the first batch, she proposed the following toast:
"Here's to fire.
Not the fire than brings down shacks and shanties,
but the fire that brings down pants and panties."
Fun gal, that Nora!
Then the dessert course arrived about half an hour after that, including rum balls, key lime pie, homemade biscotti, and something call Pizzelles, from a local Italian deli, which are flat butter cookies reminiscent of Norwegian Krumkake except the Pizzelles are not rolled, and they are flavored with anisette (licorice) flavor. I was full to the point of pain, and Nora sent me home with a load of leftovers as well when I took my leave at about 8 p.m. I left Nora with a small hostess gift of some scented liquid hand soap (lemongrass/basil) with matching hand cream that I had purchased at World Market. Haven’t heard yet whether she likes it or not.
Monday April 6. Had a “first date” with another ourtime.com candidate, this time Cathy with a C. We met at a Starbucks in Cape Coral (her home base) and that’s what kind of got me going on the Cape Coral/FM rant. Didn’t turn out well, I’m afraid. I mean she is a nice person and all, but a full-time home health nurse, and this particular day she was on call, and wouldn’t you know she got a call on her cell phone about 20 minutes into our conversation and had to go (or at least that was her story). Her full time job aside (with no plans to retire any time soon, despite her being 61 years old), there wasn’t a whole lot to build on. She’s more of a nature girl and prefers isolated locales for vacations. Hates crowds, and thus doesn’t like to vacations in large cities, doesn’t care for cruises, etc. I like my peaceful trips to serene locales, but also crave the big cities, cruises, Las Vegas, and so forth. So we ended shaking hands and saying we’ll try to get together again before April 30 (my departure day) but I’m going to email her and beg off and wish her the best of luck. She did recommend a pizza place in Cape Coral (Sal’s Pizza), which I went to after our meeting. The pizza was OK, but not great. So I have still yet to find a decent pizza place around here.
Tuesday April 7. Just returned to the top deck of the Big M from the casino level. I gave $48.50 to the house today. I suppose it was inevitable after my string of wins the last few weeks. I know I am still ahead; how much I’m not sure but I’m fairly certain it’s at least a hundred bucks.
I have a couple of events coming up with the widow and widowers social group on Thurs. and Friday of this week. The Friday outing is a comedy club, so that should be fun. The Thursday outing is dinner at a restaurant in Bonita Springs that advertises sushi, Thai, and Peruvian food, (go figure that one out!) with a guitar performance at the restaurant to follow. Also, my second trip to St. Pete coming up this weekend, so I’ll report on those events in the next update.
Bruce
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